Sunday, January 11, 2015

How to Become a Socialite in Kenya

Socialites live large. They get paid to be themselves, party, make a fool of themselves and simply go about their business like we all do. You need to be popular to be one; the more popular, the more money rolls in. The good thing with being a socialite is that you need not have a talent in acting or singing or the like, you just need to be very good at making news. All news is good news; the more explosive and controversial, the better. But how do you become a socialite? Here are tips on how to become a socialite in Kenya...

Have a Big Behind

Having a big behind is synonymous with being a socialite these days. From Kim Kanye to the local Vera Sidika, if you perfect the art of flaunting it, you're halfway there. Hiding it will not pay the bills. You've got it, you know you do, now it's time to let the world know. The tips below will show you how.  If you're not blessed in that department though, worry not. There are ways to make it bigger.
Think creams, injections or implants. If I were you though, I would stay away from river road and work with whatever little I have. It might take longer, but it's far much safer.

Capitalize on Social Accounts

In this social media error, the sky is the limit. If you need to be famous, all you need is to strategize. Start a blog, create a facebook page, install instagram, twitter, all those. Just remember not to be shy. Air your dirty linen, tweet while high, post naked pictures, start silly fights online and post controversial statements. Remember that you're not here to make friends, your goal is to get people talking.
 
Get Naked any Chance you Get

Instagram is your friend in this one. Take naked selfies through the mirror, edit them to perfection and post. Visit the modelling agencies pages online and when they ask for your full image, send them the tastefully done image of yourself in a bikini. The skimpier, the better. If you can, arrange for very intimate images to be leaked to the internet. Deny responsibility later and say how disgusted you are. Feel free to blame an ex. Your goal here is to get your images to go viral. This way, people will be searching your name in no time.

Party Party Party

You want to eventually get paid to party, right? Why not start now? Partying 5 days a week at karumaindo will not cut it though, you need to visit clubs where who's who visit. Be a groupie and stalk your favorite celebrities. Make sure to be seen with them. Taking a selfie with one is gold to your social account. Post it and say that the two of you are best friends.

Get Featured in a Popular Video

Now that you are a groupie, you will get invites to feature in low budget videos for free. Make sure you shake your butt off and be as skimpily dressed as the video director can allow. When you are done, cross your fingers or pray that the video gets popular. If it does not, it's still okey since the people that matter will already have known about it through your social accounts. Invite them to share the clip with their friends.

Just follow these tips, rinse and repeat and you'll be in/famous in no time. You are now a socialite. Good luck.

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